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This is one of those fabulous texts you get sometimes. It demonstrates in a very funny way ad absurdum the attitude of good and upright people based on the parial knowledge of the Bible.
Or maybe it's also a prime example that we humans are perfect in selective cognition of information and unconscious modification of our reality as we need it. Of course without even wondering about resulting inconsistencies...
It's really worth (and fun) to read, independent if you're interestend in discussions about homosexuality or what your opinion about it ist.
For those of you that are not following the recent controversy that has to do with Laura Schlessinger: she is a radio personality who dispenses Advice to people who call in to her radio show. Paramount Television Group is currently producing a "Dr. Laura" television show. Recently she has become a convert to Judaism and has made some statements about homosexuals that have caused the Canadian anti-hate laws to censure her.
The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.... ENJOY.
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Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
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When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? |
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I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? |
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I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. |
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Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? |
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I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? |
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A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? |
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Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? |
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Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die? |
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I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? |
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My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?
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I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Jake
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 Wasn't that fun, huh?
Laura Schlessinger has her own Homepage, just in case you need more wise words of an expert with such a comforting simplified world outlook (and if it's just for entertainment).
Dr. Laura, like also her homepage ist named, is as you can see pretty blonde (ahem, Shit, this doesen't belong here, what did I want to say.... ahh yes,) and has very exiting titels like MS, M Phil, Ph.D. Physiology (!!!) which qualify her to advise millions of people and children in such a differentiated way (she's also an avid student of religious history and philosophy, but maybe the semester just startet *g*).
Well, in the land of endless possibilities (except some minor and selected bibly restricitons) everything is possible... :-)
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