From time immemorial the existential philosophical questions revolve around chickens. Honestly, sure you asked yourself all along the question "why did the chicken cross the road", right?
Many different scenarios have been worked out as to the why and wherefore of the chicken's crossing of the road, and the answers, ancient and modern, have profound philosophical ramifications.

Chickens contain a lot of philosophical potential!

An age old question, and one much debated in intellectual circles. Here, then, for your edification and enlightenment is the answer to this most intriguing conundrum, as dictated by some of the worlds greatest sages...


A chicken. Or perhaps more? The key to philosophical insights?


For the greater good.


It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Karl Marx:

It was an historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary:

Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

Saddam Hussein:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Sir Issak Newton:

Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Ronald Reagan:

I don't recall. What was the question?

Captain James T. Kirk:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

Andersen Consulting:

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Louis Farrakhan:

No. The road represents the black man; the chicken is the white man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. The chicken is free to move, free to do as he pleases.

Martin Luther King, Jr.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. YEAH! YEAH!

Fox Mulder:

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

Dana Scully:

It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

Richard M. Nixon:

The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.


The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

William Shakespeare:

But soft, what bird on yonder asphalt trots?

T.S. Eliot:

It's not that they cross, but that they cross like chickens.

Machiavelli (again):

So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Jerry Seinfeld:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this *chicken* doing walking around all over the place anyway?"


The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. You see, to you the road represents the barrier between what is and what might be. What is…is you in front of the computer screen, practicing celibacy, peering into your mother's womb, wishing to be suckled at her breast (in this case, at the teats of internet knowledge and passive acceptance), hating the reflection in the screen that reminds you of your father, thinking how you life can never measure up… What might be, only the chicken knows, now that he has crossed...


In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.



Bill Gates:

I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

Oliver Stone:

The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"


Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Spock (again):

It was not logical for the chicken to do so, but I have frequently observed that the behaviour of chickens is not logical...


Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.


Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:

To die. In the rain.

Bill Clinton:

I was at no time alone in a room with a chicken.

The Sphinx:

You tell me!

Neil Armstrong:

To take one small step for a chicken and one giant leap for chicken-kind.

Macbeth: If it were done, when 'tis done, then 'twere well
It were done quickly: if the crossing
Could scoot across the dotted line, and catch,
Beyond passing car, sidewalk; that but these feathers
Might be the be-all and end-all here,
But here, at this corner of street and avenue,
We'd cross at the light to come.

Bob Dylan:

How many roads must a chicken walk down...?

Dana Scully: There simply must be a rational, scientific explanation. Chickens don't just "cross roads"

Josef Alzheimer: The.. eh.. chickpea - no, eh.. the.. the chicken crossed the.. ehm.. oh.. sorry, what was crossing what?

Kenneth Starr:

Also if the chicken tries to escape to the other side - I'll prove that it has sex with the President.

Hamlet: To cross, or not to cross? That is the question,
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The wheels and axles of the city's mass transit
Or to take flight against a sea of motorists
And by opposing, end me?
To cross, to peep no more!
And by that peep to say we end
The chickhood and the thousand fender-shocks That chicken is heir to.
'Tis a perambulation devoutly to be wish'd.

Chickens are very important objects for philosophical debates ;-)

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